A friend of mine once said, “Being close to somebody is about how they make you feel.” This couldn’t be more true. We cling to the people who make us feel strong, special and worthy of good things. We gravitate towards those who can give us what we’re looking for from life – be it fame, money or just a social circle to fall back on. But what happens when, as time passes, they’re no longer the person you used to identify with? Maybe you feel the need to justify their changed behavior and you are wont to accepting them nevertheless. But there’s also a fair chance that you just can’t “go with the flow”. And that’s okay.
Like me, you may be standing at that point in life where your only human interactions are with your family (if you’re an adult living with your folks, that is) and/or select friends via social media. You may be wondering what happened to all those hour long conversations with your bestfriend(s) from school or college. You may be seeing them in a new light. In between all that, you may also be questioning yourself as to “What went wrong?” The answer is nothing. It’s not up to you or me to prevent someone from being who they wish to be. Neither are we obliged to deal with a relation that has grown toxic.
All of my experiences has taught me one important thing, amongst others. If you appreciate or value somebody, make sure they know it. Cause there will come a time when engaging in small talk with said person would be a strain. We’re all caught in the throes of keeping up with today. And so it’s only likely that we would grow and flourish in the way we know how to. It’s only likely that people will grow apart for a hundred different reasons. A shuffle in priorities, conflict of interests, distance and on goes the list. But you can’t possibly hold it against them for choosing to walk away or yourself. In a world of no-strings-attached, guarded conversations and rising number of online “followers”, you ought to consider yourself lucky for having enjoyed something meaningful, even if for a short while.
Sometimes, bestfriends become strangers and families get estranged. That’s how it is.
This is something I should have understood a long time back. Perhaps, it’s something you’d like to hear now.
Anyhow, the festive season is here and I truly wish y’all a fantastic end to this year!
Utterances and actions
Not fitting one’s nature,
Can, regardless of how unintentional,
Hamper one’s reflection.
Absences temporary, wholehearted not,
Need no invitation for a homecoming.
Gathering foes and somebodies you used to know,
Ever present challenges of life.
A wacky sense refreshed by the wind
Bubbly days hyped up by company
Little things, deep meanings
Eternal boons and permanent fixtures.
We do what we must,
In every situation.
To smile and cope,
With no inhibition.
But sometimes these
Sentiments, they last
Buzzing unstoppable &
Blame it on chance,
Who gave me no choice.
But would I’ve saved
This relation from foils?
And then your absence
Sealed the day.
Never to be seen again.
Like an erased film.
Bidding silent goodbye to
Temporary acquaintances and
Is the unsaid really
For the better?
Will it present myriad
Possibilities or merely
A dash for hope.
Now the day and the people
Reside like a distant memory.
Important yet feeble,
With loose ends and
An entangled mark.
Quicksands of smile and toil,
Take away these muddling onslaught.
Transient yet far too overbearing,
Break down the inconsistencies; by part.
This first week has been bewildering in itself. And to think that we’re not even half way through the first month! I have been having all sorts of confusions. Maybe its in the air and with all anticipation overriding reason, I’m thinking way too much. But to not consider it would be an even greater folly. A direct admission of my inconsideration. Sometimes being real depends on the situation. I’ve come to believe that at the end of the day, my actions must be right by me, by my family. While I’d enjoy the freedom to say I don’t care, I do and that’s that. I hope things sort out by the end of this month. Then I can peacefully, smilingly welcome the next and the next.
April is the month of dust… and lies.
But even a small occasion would suffice
To add to the merry of a glorying age
One that with responsibility does engage.
There is laughter and knowledge abound,
And life’s mystery lurking around.
For every Arian, this time of the year
New resolutions become clear.
To quell the despair of a faraway destiny
One must weed the thoughts of being lonely.
The pretence of relations have undone
Unto themselves since their purpose forgone.
April is the month of fire and prosper,
To that and more, we toast and holler.
“The bond of family blesses us with an immeasurable power. But we also must accept what comes with it. It gives us a responsibility to love without condition, without apology. We can never waver from the power of that bond, even when it is tested. The bond nourishes us, gives us strength. Without that power, we are nothing.” – Elijah Mikaelson, The Originals.
The love among members of a family is one you can’t replicate, no matter how high your stature. Pretend all you might, but deep down lurks all that insecurity and dread you banished when you cast aside your family. No one is born perfect. But through the course of our life, we are perfected by our family. To mould us into our potential being. To reprimand us when we’re wrong. A family is an army that isn’t commissioned. It’s an army that doesn’t need arms and ammunitions to battle but the mere magnificence of what a family can offer – love, protection, bliss, sense of belonging and all other immaterial riches. Wealth is at the mercy of time. As time goes by, no matter how wealthy you are, either you spend all of it or lose possession of it. Unlike those people, with whom you share very close relations. They are not going anywhere. Deal with it! They are going to annoy the crap outta you for the rest of eternity 😀 And they are going to be the most precious things in your treasure chest.
You may be born into one family, you may marry into another family. But what makes you a part of this united whole, is the willingness to cooperate and adjust. You bring yourself to care and soon life without each and every member of the family becomes a nagging pain.
They say we have no choice while selecting our family. But more than often, a family is not just about blood ties. Sometimes people who have nothing in common (not even DNA) stick out for each other, as family. A family consists of those people who’d not even blink an eye before handing their lives over to you, if the need arises. A family is one that lets no third person dictate terms. A true family is a symbol of permanence in life. Regardless of what changes may occur, life being as unpredictable as it is, a family is drawn together by a common thread of purpose – to look out for each other. Family always comes first. Always & Forever.
Earlier in high school, I’d always wonder what the big deal was, when these college students would be ranting about a “due assignment” or “a paper being due”. And good Lord! I’m right in the middle of all that now 😛 So I totally understand how it feels, especially when the whole transition from school to college is so different. I mean, in school (atleast my previous school) if you didn’t submit your homework or so, we’d often get to submit it at a later date. I don’t see that happening in college anytime soon, not by a long shot! 😀 If I want to save my ass from being kicked out or worse, from receiving a bad grade – I have to start being routine in my work. A tad bit difficult since I’ve been lazy all my life 😛
However I’m enjoying the experience, albeit a little whiny. So for one of our Brit.Lit assignments we had to write a haiku about love with the whole nature element and juxtaposition parts too. I came up with a few which I’ll be posting here (though not the one I submitted!)
Plus we are having like group counselling sessions for the whole class. And one of the discussed topics happens to be “Pillars of Relationship”. So its all gelling together pretty well! Classes are sort of complementary to each other and its great fun.
Almost a month now. And as per some of my friends, we have “insider jokes” already.Walking around campus, pointing out and reminiscing about our goofy blunders and those of others (ha! we are mean like that 😛 ). Its great to feel like a part of something which is going to gradually end up being of great importance! The past couple of days have been a little different as in “not ordinary” stuff happening. Particularly that which I’m not used to. But I’m taking it in good stride and just adding it to my scrapbook and moving on 🙂
Blind faith need not be handed out to every second person. Cause not many know its true value. And those who do, enjoy watching the cracks on a mirror.