From what I’ve seen, it always starts with something small, something very insignificant. You don’t give it too much thought and it becomes easy to brush aside.
An argument that took a turn for the worse. A grave mistake. Nothing like hot temper to take it up a notch. Nothing like frustration, to lash out at an innocent.
Once said, words cannot be taken back. Similarly, once done, actions cannot be revoked. In that intense moment of uncontrollable anger, you raise your hand, slam down your fist at whatever or whoever maybe in the vicinity. Not caring, not considering.
Later you lament and you apologize. If you are a usually soft person, the guilt starts to eat you up from the inside. Part by part, it consumes you. Like a raging wolf, it rips you apart. You lie around, unable to do anything or feel anything except the numb sensation of grief overpowering you. Now, you’d do anything to rewind and start over again.
What was the outcome of your violent behaviour? More hurt. More anger at yourself. Did anything good come out of it? Were you able to sleep peacefully after that session of venting out? I don’t think so. As a third person, who is simply observing the goings on around her, I have come to terms with the after effects of violence. Watching other people make such mistakes, I have learnt to keep my calm and to not act rashly. I have learnt to keep my hot temper in control. Have you? 🙂